Thursday, June 11, 2009

"How to Dump a Man"

Dear ________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated
from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably
aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and
dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself
also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep
your name on file should an opening become available.

So that you may find better success in your future
romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the
following reason(s) you were disqualified from the

Check those that apply...

___Your last name is objectionable. I can't
imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting
my children to it.

___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not
something I can picture myself yelling out in a
fit of passion.

___The fact that our dining experiences to date has
left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants
a little tighter!

___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms
by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested
in me for something other than my personality.

___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked
you 20 questions about yourself before you asked
me more than one about myself.

___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO
much time on your hands!

___Your legs are skinnier than mine.

___You're too short. Any son that we produced would
inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess.

___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition
from trying to kiss you.

___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily

___The fact that your apartment has been condemned
reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is

___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often
in conversation.

___You still live with your parents.

___Although I still enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe
of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.

___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend
lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic

___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that
I am seeking in a long-term partner.

___Your height is out of proportion to your weight.
If you should however, happen to gain the necessary
17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your
overnight bag were really necessary for a successful
business trip.

___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next

Cruella de Ville

bukti sebuah percintaan

Seorang wanita telah mengajak teman lelakinya ke rumahnya supaya dapat
berdua-duaan di malam minggu. Jadi teman lelakinyabersetuju.

Tau-tau saja lah apa yang dia orang buat di malam minggu tu
berdua-duaan di dalam bilik wanita tu... .. kira malam minggu tu
milik dia oranglah.

Selepas selesai melakukan adengan yang di censoredkan, si lelaki ni pun
berehat sambil mengambil rokoknya tapi mancis takder.

Bertanyalah si lelaki ni kepada teman wanitanya;

"Darling! ada mancis tak?".

"Ada kat dalam laci sebelah katil tu", jawab si wanita tu.

Masa buka laci tu,terpandanglah si lelaki tu sebuah potret lelaki di dalam

laci tu. Bertanyalah si lelaki tu pada teman wanitanya;
Gambar siapa ni yang? Gambar suami sayang ker?""Bukan" jawab si wanita tu.

"Kalau bukan gambar suami sayang, gambar tunang sayang ker?",

"Bukan jugak" jawab wanita tu lagi.

"Kalau bukan jugak, habis gambar ni gambar siapa?"
tanya silelaki tu untuk mendapat penjelasan lanjut

"Yanggg! Gambar tu adalah gambar saya sebelum saya menjalani pembedahan
jawab si wanita tu dengan penuh manja.

(Credit to Encik Utara)

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