Do you want to be famous?

Would you like to become an artist? Have you ever dream to sing and be famous? I found a way and I’ll share it with you all. There is a portal http://www.everyoneconnects.net . this portal give you a chance to become an artist or at least try your best to impersonate / become an artist. All you have to do is to sing your version of “Through My Window” song from Bunkface. Record it and upload your self recorded video through the everyoneconnects.net website and that is all. The best video will be chosen to run on online portals. So easy to become famous. Everybody can try, even I myself want to try it lah. Before that I have to learn how to dance so I do not look like our friend who sang “she bang, she bang” in a reality show last few years. But even though he did not do very well in singing and dancing, but still, he now become famous already, everybody remember him, at that time lah, now no more already, I also didn’t remember what his name oh, its William Hung. I like when he said, “ I don’t have any professional training” I guessed he is really talented in his own way. Keep it up William Hung.

William Hung singing "She Bang"

William Hung again singing "She Bang" after he's famous

This is my chance to try to be a superstar. As I read in the website, there will also be a “Banner Concert” as they called it. Band or contestant can come for Banner Concert Audition to sing your version of “Through My Window” song from Bunkface. It’s the same thing like the above, only this time you do it live in front of the audience, the singer himself and also the judges. For more info you can visit http://www.everyoneconnects.net . But today I’m so so free so I just list it here as well as below.

Location: The Orange Entrance Area - Sunway Pyramid

Dates: 31st October and 1st November

Time: 12 - 6 PM

Cruisers will be there too

There will also be Celebrities sang their version of "Through My Window". Famous celebrities :

Shila

Tomok

Modread

Bunkface

Dafi/Mila/Akim

I think that day everything is all about "Through My Window" song.

The auditions will be filter by famous judges they said. But they didn’t said who it is, I wonder will it be Paul or Simon perhaps? I’m gonna be there, please don’t “boo” me when I’m singing on the stage please. Hehe. Be there or be square!

I’m gonna leave you with this song "Through My Window" , I like this advertisement, its so romantic and dramatic, especially when the little paperman stuck in the middle when he try to cross the building. I like It, its so creative.

Flatulance

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearlyforty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by thehusband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke.

The noise would always awake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air.

Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping onein the morning. He told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him tosee a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn'thear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function andthen he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes awaywith her hands.

She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out".

The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husbandcontinued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until oneThanksgiving morning..

Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey.

While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem.

With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into abowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husbandwould awake. While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back thecovers and then gently pulled aback her husband's jockey shorts. Shethen placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulledthem up, replaced the covers and tip-toed back downstairs to finishpreparing the family meal.

Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normalloud ass trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling screamand the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairsbathroom.

The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up asshe rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with himshe had finally gotten even.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in hisblood stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit herlip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter.

He said, "honey, you were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you".

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well you always told me that I would end up farting my guts outone of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace ofGod and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."

a very good place

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

"Say, is this really a healthy place?"

"It sure is," the man replied.

"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word.


I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

If Columbus had been married!

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions and listen to such dramatic statements:


Where are you going?

With whom?

Why?

How are you going?

To discover what?

Why only you?

What do I do when you are not here?

Can I come with you?

When will you be back?

Will you be home for dinner?

What will you bring for me?

You deliberately made this plan without me, didn't you?

You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately...

Answer me why?

I want to go to my mother's house.

I want you to drop me there.

I don't want to come back ever!

What do you mean, OK?

Why aren't you stopping me?

I don't understand what this whole 'discovery' thing is about.

You always do things like this.

Last time also you did the same thing!

Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff.

I still don't understand what else is left to be discovered!

Husband Vs Wife

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you

************ ********* ********* ********* *

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever


************ ********* ********* ********* *


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.

************ ********* ********* ********* *

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.


************ ********* ********* ********* *
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents


************ ********* ********* *********


Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!

Idiots, so far in 2009

Number One Idiot, so far in 2009 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away..


Number Two Idiot so far in 2009 Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Number Three Idiot so far in 2009 A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland . Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland. Happened in Noosa!


Number Four Idiot so far in 2009 A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Number Five Idiot so far in 2009 A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him..

Number Six Idiot so far in 2009 Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. .. The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA .

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.. Happened in Surfers Paradise !!!


IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask..' Happened in Melbourne .


JUST AN IDIOT : When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.' This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.

"Confusion"

"Confusion"

A physician visited a California mental institution and
asked a patient "How did you get here? What is the
nature of your illness?"

He got this reply.

"It started when I got married and I guess I should
never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a
grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.

"My Daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely
stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter
was now my stepmother."

"Soon my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's
brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my
stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.
So as I told you, when stepdaughter married my daddy,
she was at once, my stepmother. Now since my new son is
brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle.

"As you know, my wife is my step grand-mother since she
is my stepmother's mother. (Don't forget that my
stepmother is my stepdaughter.) Remember, too, that I
am my wife's grandson.

"But hold on just a few minutes more. you see, since
I'm married to my step grand-mother, I am not only the
wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own
grandfather.

"Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"


Talking about confusion...

"Dumb moose"


















Is this what you call STATUEtory RAPE?