Rumah Untuk Dijual (Dapat Lori Percuma)

Fikiran anda runsing?
tiada rumah untuk tinggal?
tiada kenderaan untuk berulang alik ke tempat kerja?
nama anda blacklist?


Disini ada iklan yang pasti dapat menarik minat anda, Rumah Untuk Dijual (Dapat Lori Percuma)

Loan bank boleh buat 100%.
Condition tip top
rumah baru di cat
Accident Free
Ladies Owner,
Tayar baru tukar bunga 99%
aircon baru servis
Harga boleh dirunding

*Untuk Condition rumah dan lori anda boleh lihat gambar dibawah
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Incident in Bangalore

Airport Security : What's your Name?


Passenger : Batman


Airport Security : Your real name please?


Passenger : My name is Bat-Man


Airport Security : Are you trying to be funny? What is your family name?


Passenger : Superman


Airport Security handcuffs him & puts him into a locked security room


Then they checked his Passport...

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Ayang pernah curang kepada Abang Tak??

Pada satu malam, ada pasangan yg agak berumur sedang makan malam dengan romantiknya bagi menyambut ulangtahun perkahwinan mereka yg ke 50 tahun.

Suaminya, seorang Tan Sri dan bekas ahli politik mula bercerita tentang nostalgia mereka suami isteri, sekian lama hidup bersama, suka duka, susah dan senang. Si suami memang menyanjung isterinnya, bernama Maria.

"Maria, selama kita kahwin ni, suka duka kita lalui, susah senang kita tempuh, abang amat menyanyang Maria, tapi ada satu perkara yg asyik bermain-main di benak abang ni dan abang selalu bertanya-tanya. Berterus-teranglah dgn abang pada malam ni, pernah tak Maria curang dgn abang selama ni?"

Maria agak terkedu sekejap dan merenung panjang muka suaminya itu, lalu berkata dengan penuh kekesalan, "Ya abang, Maria mengaku pernah curang dgn abang, tapi hanya 3 kali sahaja selama ni"

"3 kali?" Tan Sri tu agak terkejut, tapi tak la marah, dah tua dah dan memang berniat utk memaafkan isterinya,"Bagaimana boleh terjadi 3 kali tu Maria?"

Perlahan jer la isteri dia mula membuka lebaran cerita lama, "Abang ingatkan masa kita mula-mula kawin, terus beli rumah dan selang beberapa tahun, kita susah sangat masa tu hingga rumah kita hampir nak dirampas oleh bank"

"Ya, abang ingat peristiwa tu" jawab si suami. Si isteri menyambung cerita, "Abang pasti ingat yg pada satu petang tu Maria pergi jumpa pegawai bank tu dan esoknya, bank tu tak jadi rampas rumah kita, malah bagi tambahan pinjaman utk abang mulakan perniagaan.."

"Emmmm.. sukar buat abang menerima kenyataan ini, tapi abang maafkan maria kerana apa yg maria buat tu untuk masa depan kita jugak", kata si suami, " Kali ke 2 pulak?"

"Abang ingat tak, abang hampir menemui maut sebab ketumbuhan dalam otak pembedahan?" si isteri menyambung cerita "Ya, abang ingat" jawab si suami. "Kalau macam tu, abang pasti ingat yg Maria ada pergi jumpa doctor pakar tu dan esoknya, dia setuju buat pembedahan utk abang tanpa bayaran apa-apa pun.."

"Oh maria, walau perit hati ini mendengarkan, tapi abang tetap maafkan maria sebab apa yg maria buat tu untuk masa depan kita jugak dan kerana sayangkan abang jugak.. yang kali ke 3 macam mana pulak? ", kata si Tan Sri. Si isteri menundukkan mukanya dan menjawab penuh lemah, "Abang, ingat tak masa abang bertanding merebut kerusi bahagian dan abang perlukan 248 undi lagi...."

*Tan Sri pengsan kat situ jugak... *

me and my wife

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.. And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Naaah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started...

A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... .

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And then the fight started....

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.....

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.' And then the fight started...

Speed Trap

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"

Restoran Haji Ramli

Kelmarin, aku ada kerja kat luar, berdekatan dengan Restoran Haji Ramli yang famous dan orang sentiasa penuh. aku tak pernah makan kat sini, ni laaa first time aku nak merasa makan kat sini, maklumlaa, orang ramai sangat, naik takut plak aku nak pi makan kat situ, berebut rebut, sedap sangat kaa restoran haji ramli ni. untuk anda yang tak tahu, restoran haji ramli ni terletak di batu 7, jalan alor star sungai petani, restoran ni menyediakan makanan nasik kandaq laaa, memang hebat, orang sentiasa penuh, kalau nak pi restoran ni, sila laa pi awai awai noooo, kalau pi lambat, makan kuah saja laa, hehe, ada sedikit gambaq aku ambik, sila laa tengok


lauk pauk yang nampak menarik, baru dan panas




Udang beso, tak tau laa harga berapa,


Ketam Berempah, fuhhhhh


yang ni memang nampak lazattt,


ni aku punya makanan tengah hari, nampak menarik, ayam dia baru dan panas, aku terpaksa tunggu sepuluh minit sambil tiup tiup ayam tu, baru laa boleh makan, haihh, nak makan pun susah


Persekitaran yang teratur dan bersih


di belakang tu ada tempat parking yang luas, so, jangan risau pasal parking


kalau korang lambat, macam ni laa jadinya, kena beratur panjang, tapi berbaloi wooo, nasik dia sedap, memang berbaloi berbelanja di sini, hehe, ayat macam eklan


Restoran ini juga mendapat pengiktirafan dari program Jalan Jalan Cari Makan - TV3
Tahniah!

harga so so, 5 orang makan, campor sekali air, lauk lebih kurang macam lauk aku jaa, ayam dan sayur, (except member aku sorang makan gulai ayam kampung) 5 orang harga RM32.00. purata sorang RM6.40

Tips* kalau anda makan di restoran nasik kandaq ni, dinasihatkan anda ambil lauk yang famous famous, meaning lauk tu selalu habis, so taukeh dia selalu masak yang baru, kalau ambik lauk yang tak berapa famous, dikhuatiri lauk tu entah berapa lama punya dok panaskan letak kat situ. kalau anda nak tahu, tanya tukang senduk nasik tu, lauk apa yang famous kat restorang tu, kalau mamak, selalu dia cakap lauk yang paling mahal laa yang famous, so hati hati lah ye. "jadilah pengguna yang bijak" - macam iklan lam tv

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Dan, setelah selesai menjamu selera, kenyang perut geli hati, so, aku ni, orang yang sentiasa bernasib malang, biasa laa aku, nasib selalu kurang baik, terjadi lah satu peristiwa, tengah aku dok bawak kereta SLK aku yang comel tu (SLK stands for Small Little Kancil, not merc SLK), tetiba, ada satu lori keluaq dari simpang, aku pun follow ja laa lori tu, sebab tak boleh nak potong, engin kereta aku kekurangan kuasa kuda, nak potong pun jalan sibuk, so, aku ikut saja laa bontot lori tu, tetiba, dia bukak ayaq, motif dia bukak ayaq pasai nak bagi jalan basah, supaya tak berdebu dek tanah merah projek landasan berkembar tu. bila dah letak air, memang laa tak berdebu, tapi abeh laa lekat tanah merah kat kereta SLK aku nieh, uwaaaaa, tensen gila, malang sungguh nasib aku. sampai rumah, apa lagi, kena laaa pot pet dengan wife aku. tapi, bukan salah aku, salah lori tu laa, ada kaa pi dok siram ayaq tengah jalan, tarak gheja lain dah ka, adus!
*Tepuk Dahi*


ini lah lori yang buat reja tak senonoh ni, dari hang siram jalan, baik hang pi siram pokok pun ada pekdah jugak,

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

I heard this song on the radio, the song is so sweet, as i recall my memory back to the past, as my friend once said, thing will never be the same as we growing older, the commitment, the responsibility getting bigger, the burden getting heavier, the loneliness is a killer. i missed all my friend alot!

Screw You!

Even when you are having a really bad day...

[]

[]

someone will still screw you.

History Mystery

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860..
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presiden ts were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy..
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1 808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.




Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.










WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?

INCREDIBLE
1) Fold a NEW $20 bill in half...




2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below




3) Fold the other end, exactly as before




4) Now, simply turn it over....




What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!

COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE

As if that wasn't enough...
Here is what you've seen. ..

Firstly The Pentagon on fire...



Then The Twin Towers.


..And now .. look at this!



TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPL E $20 BILL
Disaster (Pentagon)
Disaster (Twin Towers)
Disaster (Osama)???

It gets even better 9 + 11 = $20!


**Creepy huh? anyway i love conspiracy, heh

Rokok? nak sakit apa?

ada satu hari ni, aku dengan kengkawan on the way pi makan tengah hari, macam biasa, meredah terik mentari, melangkah longkang yang meluas, meranduk denai yang bersimpang siur. di pertengahan jalan, singgah di kedai menjual akhbar, mengidam membeli sekotak rokok, maka berlakulah dialog seperti berikut:

Kawan: kak, dunhill 14 sekotak,
Penjual : nak sakit apa?
Kawan: errr...... sakit apa ada?
Penjual:sakit elok elok punya dah abeh, tinggai sakit yang tak elok saja

*kawan kawan lain dah start gelak dah bila dengaq conversation camtu*

aku: "garu kepala" (bukannya aku tak tahu pasal gambaq ngeri kat kotak rokok, cuma otak aku lembab sket nak proses, almaklumlaaa, processor zaman batu)

*rupanya depa dok sembang pasai gambaq yang dok lekat kat depan kotak rokok tu, kerajaan dah mewajibkan lekatkan gambaq ngeri kat kotak rokok, menyebabkan aku pun berfikir banyak kali bila nak beli rokok nieh, aduss,

Open Letter to Bill Gates

Open Letter
To: Bill Gates of Microsoft
From: Banta Singh of Punjab

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace.. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine.. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,

Banta

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling Windows ?

***khehehe, gila punya orang!

How to build the Bridge!??

The minister need to build a new bridge as a second bridge and decided to call a few contractor from Korea, America and from malaysia itself,

they have discussed and offer their price

1) Korean Man said, 'I build 2nd bridge need 300K; 100K for material, 100K for handwork, 100K for profit.'

2) American Man said, 'I build 2nd bridge need 600K; 200K for material, American's material da best, 200K for handwork, American's handwork da best, 200K for profit, American's living standard high.'

3) Malaysian Man said, 'I build 2nd bridge need 900K…'

The Minister asked, 'Why yours so expensive?'

4) Malaysian Man answered, 'I take 300K, you take 300K, the balance 300K give Korean Man to build the bridge…'

hehehe, this is what usually happened here, lol

Its Priceless - Hehehehe

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'





New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

alif min nun wau

aku terbaca blog member aku pjan, mengenai cerita p ramlee (Pendekar bujang lapok) mengeja alif min nun wau = sarkis, hehe,
nak baca lebih lanjut klik kat sini

Sengal Sengal badan lah, apasal ek?

ohhh, tetiba jaaa rasa sengal sengal badan, rasa macam tak larat nak bergerak, sengall jaa rasa, patut laa sengal, gaji dah masuk, kena pegi massage nieh, tak boleh jadi nieh, ngeh ngeh ngeh.
apa lagi, aku dengan wife pun tanpa membuang masa memulakan perjalanan dengan tenang menuju ke sempadan bukit kayu hitam, bukan lah membeli belah, cuma pergi massage dan makan makan.

bulan ni tak bleh berbelanja sangat, kena simpan duit bayar extra duit rumah, tetiba jaa bulan ni kena bayo duit rumah plak, pastu simpan duit pegi bali plak, iskh, banyak benda betul kena buat, duit pulak tak banyak, camno ni,

tapi apa apa pun, letak tepi dulu masalah masalah dunia tu, yang penting, pegi massage dulu, baru laa boleh ringan kan badan, tenangkan otak ni, heh heh.

dah lama aku pegi massage dekat depan hotel oliver kat danok, so this time, aku nak tukar tempat pulak, malas dah makcik tua jaa yang massage aku, rasa geli pun ada jugak, kesian pun ada jugak, yer lahh, tak daya makcik tua tu nak pusing aku kiri kanan, maklumlaa, badan aku ni bukan laa gemuk, cuma over besar jaa, ngeh ngeh ngeh

so, aku pegi ke tempat hotel satit, kat dalam tu kat 2nd level ada thai ancient massage. masuk masuk dalam tu, takda apa sangat, nampak amoi amoi siam bersidai, tunggu pelanggan nak diurut. pegi kat counter, tanya harga, rm24 untuk dua jam, kira ok laa tu, harga stendet, aku pun tanpa membuang masa, bawak wife masuk bilik, bersedia untuk diurut, sebelum tu, aku singgah toilet dulu, buang apa yang patut, dan aku nampak, sink dia unik sikit, bentuk biasa saja, tapi unik,

sink tak laa cantik sangat, tapi unik

so, aku pun masuk laaa ke dalam bilik, normal, ada tiga tilam,

ini laa keadaan tilam (gambar tilam ni selepas aku guna, untuk urut laa, bukan benda lain)


ada aircond dan tv LCD 32"

kat dalam room tu pun, siap ada aircond, biasa la ada aircond, dan ada tv, bukan main main punya tv cokia kat rumah aku tu, ni tv lcd 32", kira ok laa tu, hebat laa kira, hehe. ada banyak rancangan, aku tekan tekan tekan, ada 2 chanel tak senonoh, terkejut beruk jugak aku dengan wife aku, massage pun ada gambo camtu, haiii, lingkup lingkup. tapi yang paling bestnya, ini lah first time aku layan bola @ ESPN sambil ada orang massage aku, reaksi aku, aku sokong fav team aku pun sebelah mata jaaa, sebab dia punya syok tu dah lari pegi kat massage, haha, memang rileks abeh aku layan bola, team opponent score pun aku boleh senyum jaa, ya yaa, takpaa, score laa lagi aku kata lam ati, macam tak kisah jaa, haha

so, dah tukar baju, depa pun start urut urut, aku pun sembang laa menggunakan bahasa isyarat macam ayam bercakap dengan itik, dia tak paham aku cakap, aku lagi laa tak paham apa dia cakap, aku cakap siam, depa kata tak paham, aku cakap hokkien, depa kata tak paham, rupanya depa ni orang china, berasal dari yunan, patut laa depa tak paham, kacauu kacau, dia tau mandarin jaa, aku cakap dia, " wa pu she tau!"

ni amoi yang massage aku, badan sedap, muka comey, tapi dia kata dia camera shy, takleh nak snap gambo dia.


ni amoi yang massage wife aku, muka biasa jaa, tapi wife aku cakap body power, tangan dia keras macam kayu, kuat betul dia

selepas 2 jam diurut, dan 4-5 kali aku tertido dan terjaga, selesai laa sesi urutan, dan aku rasa, tempat ni memang best untuk massage, kerana?

1- bilik dia ada TV LCD siap dengan 2 channel extra hebat! hehe
2- Teknik urutan dia lebih hebat dari hotel oliver
3- amoi dia muda muda dan lebih cantik
4- layanan lebih mesra
5- harga stendet, rm24 untuk 2 jam

so, i'll be back guys!

bye bye amoi, i'll be back!

dah abeh massage, macam biasa, pusing pusing cari makan, tapi tekak tak berapa nak selera nak makan tomyam, rasa jemu pun ada jugak, so aku cari satu lagi makanan fav aku kat sini, iaitu mee celup, memang sedap rasanya, confirm!

Mee Celup yang menjadi favourite aku


Gambar close up, mee celup ni, ada potongan daging dan meatball, yang confirm halal, dan, kalau makan mee celup ni dengan Cabai Jeruk, memang terangkat

bak kata pepatah, perut kenyang suka hati, selepas makan, wife aku dengan girangnya pusing pusing tengok baju dan kasut untuk shopping, la la la la

stall jual kasut

stall jual baju

dikesempatan itu, sempat laa jugak membeli sebarang dua benda, wife aku beli beg dan baju, aku beli kasut dan seluaq jeans, itu saja laa

beg wife aku beli, aku kata tak elok, dia kata elok, dia kata dengan tokey tokey jual beg tu pun elok, hmmm, pompuan, kalau dah shopping, benda huduh pun kata elok, alahai

kasut aku beli, aku suka kasut tarak belakang tu, senang sikit aku nak bukak kasut, macam pakai sandle,

sebelum balik, pusing pusing jalan jalan cuci mata, lalu kat satu kedai nampak banner baik punya, sexy show in dannok, masuk percuma, fuhh, masuk pun percuma, menarik nieh, hahaha, tapi aku tak masuk laa aku tengok saja

banner ni laa, hehe, awek comey ni


sebelum balik, terjumpa buah durian, beli sebungkus, makan tepi jalan, memang best, lama tak rasa buah durian,

rasa sedih pulak nak keluaq dari siam, rasa tak sabaq nak pi pulak bulan depan, hihi,

Radix HPA - refresh your tastebud

on friday night, since we have no better thing to do, and salary just came in, so its time empty our pocket before the month end again!?,

there is RADIX HPA restaurant/fast food outlet everywhere, its like a new phenomenon. Radix Era or something, as we always past by a HPA Restaurant, so today we decided to try a Radix Oriental Cuisine @ Sungai Petani (near Village Mall Area).

the ambiance is really nice, i was impress lah, at least there is improvement laaa, i took a few picture inside because i have to wait for a free table pulak, its full house!!.

The cashier

pathway to heaven of taste

we wait there like 15 minutes or so, nobody greet us or anything, everybody seems so busy with there work without noticing us there, macam buat tak nampak jaa, maybe because i'm wearing an old jeans kot, look so poor, so nobody noticed us, well anyway, we search for an empty table, sit there for sometime, and still nobody come to take order or anything, not a good experience, so we decided to go to other places that can serve food faster and better.

well, we discussed, my wife would like to try RFC (Radix Fried Chicken) again. we tried RFC before but frankly the taste not to my liking, but it was long time ago, maybe they have made a changes / upgrade the taste and service. so off we go to RFC

ordered Spicy chicken

and again i try the RFC, giving RFC a second chance, but still, there is no changes, still the same, the chicken is ok laa, crispy, weel cooked (no blood found) . but the coleslaw, the bun, wip potato, the taste not to par to KFC. i expect if not better than KFC, at least at par with KFC, the coleslaw, the mixture of mayonis is to watery, that it not stick to the cabbage, wip potato to hard, the gravy is too strong with herb, and the bun is cold, the kfc bun is a bit warm if you notice,
so my result, the RFC is not to my liking, until they upgrade their food, i wont be back in the near future.

Congratulations

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,

If they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.


The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Wonderful Definitions

-School

A place where Parents pay and children play


-Life Insurance

A contract that keeps you poor all your life

so that you can die Rich.


-Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


-Marriage

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..


-Divorce

Future tense of Marriage.


-Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


-Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


-Conference

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


-Compromise

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


-Dictionary

A place where success comes before work


- Conference Room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on


-Father

A banker provided by nature


-Criminal

A person no different from the rest

....except that he/she got caught


-Boss

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early


-Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and

your Confidence after


-DOCTOR

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


-Classic

Books, which people praise, but do not read.


-Smile

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


-Office

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life..


-Yawn

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.



-Etc.

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


-Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


-Experience

The name men give to their mistakes.


-Atom Bomb

An invention to end all inventions..


-Philosopher

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

Something to make you smile my friend

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal! to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18 . Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Sex tu ape?

DADDY SEX TU APE!!!!!
Suatu pagi seorang anak yang baru masuk sekolah primary bertanya kepada daddynya,
'Daddy.daddy....sex tu apa, daddy..?'
Terkulat-kulat si ayah. Terfikir dia tentang arus kemodenan zaman sekarang yang membuatkan manusia berfikiran terbuka, termasuklah anak- anak yang masih kecil.. Sesuai dengan konsep pendidikan seks yang sedang hangat dibincangkan, mulalah si ayah mencari-cari jawapan yang sesuai dengan harapan anaknya takkan tertinggal dalam arus pendidikan moden.
Maka si ayah pun memberikan jawapan secara mengkiaskan kumbang dan bunga,telur yang yang menetaskan berudu dan seterusnya menjadi katak, hujan serta benih yang mencetuskan tunas, diikuti dengan pembentukan bayi dalam kandungan.
Sebelum mengakhiri jawapannya itu, si ayah menyelitkan pula kisah percintaan antara dia dan mamanya sejak dari zaman sekolah menengah lagi hinggalah kepada kelahiran seorang bayi comel iaitu si anak yang bertanya itu. Tiba-tiba si anak menangis teresak-esak. Si ayah kehairanan.
'Eh kenapa ni?'
Si ayah bertanya kehairanan. Si anak masih juga menangis.
'Jawapan daddy tu panjang sangat, tapi tempat nak tulis jawapan ni pendek. Daddy ajalah yang tulis, waaaaa!!!!'
Kata si anak lantas menyerahkan buku latihan Bahasa Inggerisnya yang pada muka depan tertulis.... .

SCROLL DOWN....

NAME : ............ ......... ......... ....
SCHOOL : ............. ........... ......... ...
CLASS : ............ ......... ......... .....
SEX :............ ......... ........ ....

CAR INSURANCE CLAIM VOID... PLEASE READ STORY. BEWARE!!!

This is a real story, my nephew told me, & I would like to share with
all of you. Be careful, if u hv the habit of sending yr car for car
wash or similar matter (car jockey etc) while in shopping complex...

Two weeks ago my nephew sent his Toyota Harrier for car wash in the
car park of Bangsar Shopping Complex while he had an appointment
there. He handed the car keys to the car wash people n left the car
park for his appointment.

After the appointment he went to collect his car, & the car wash
people told him that his car had been collected. How CAN??? After a
prolonged argument without any results, he had no choice, but to make
a police report... n follow up by insurance claim..

Insurance company rejected his claim 'cos the reason is the car was
not stolen, the point of contention was why did he hand over the car
keys to someone unknown, n why did he not wait there till the car
washing was finished...? ??

So, be careful next time. If u really need to send yr car for car
wash, better stay there and wait for yr car, if not, this may happen
to you...
ALWAYS GET AN OFFICIAL RECIEPT LIKE YOU DO WHEN YOU SENT YOUR CAR FOR
SERVICING AT HONDA, PROTON, TOYOTA ... DON'T PLAY A FOOL.

Pls forward this msg to all your friends to warn all of them...

Thank you for the Information.

I am a Senior Manager with MCIS ZURICH and confirm that if you hand over
the keys of your car for someone to take care example :- Car Wash, Car
Park and on your return if the Car is 'taken' away, Insurer WILL NOT PAY
for the 'Loss'.

*** Story received by email, dont know its true or not, but, Becarefull guys, nowdays the world is roam by crazy and deperate people, be extra carefull!

5 DON'TS when you are sleeping.

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH A WATCH on your wrist.
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed
for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH Your BRA on.
Scientists in America have discovered those that
wear bras for more than 12 hours have
a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without them.

3 DON'T SLEEP near a PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere
near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible from you.
Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phones and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE-UP ON
People who sleep with make-up on might have
skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make-up on will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Lastly.....

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH somebody else WIFE or HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.
hehehe,

Credit Card oh Credit Card

Have you ever used credit card?? I think most of you use credit card,

right?

Normally, when we make payment, we will pay more / less few ringgits

or cents, right??



Have you ever seen when you under pay RM0.19 of the full payment, and

the bank charged you RM52.17 for interest charges??!!!



I been used credit card for about 10 years, this is the 1st time i

know that banker can charge u interest charges for the full amount if

you pay even 1 cent less !!!!??? This happened in THE WORLD LOCAL

BANK --- HSBC



Interest more heavier than LOAN SHARK!!!! charged RM52.17 for RM0.19,

is about 27457%!!!!!!



If based on this calculation, then when i pay RM6 extra, the bank

shall pay me RM1647, RIGHT??

(RM6 X 27457%)





I ask the HSBC staff for this , then he just keep silent.



Then i asked the same HSBC staff again, if this month i don't make the

payment for the RM0.19, IS HSBC GOING TO CHARGE ME ANOTHER RM52.17,

you just guess what the staff's answer?? He answered me "YES"!!!!!



I also under paid few ringgit for other bank credit card payment, but

they didn't impose any interest charges for the balance few ringgits /

cents.



see the attachment for the HSBC's statement & other bank's statement.

*** This is not my story, this is other people's story, its for our attention, do leave a comment if this true or not

"Prayer Power"

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard
his son praying: "G~d bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma.
Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was
glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found
Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack.

The father reassured himself that it was just a
coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next
night, he heard his son praying again: "G~d bless
Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning.
Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor,
dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father
decided to wait outside his son's door the next night.
And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "G~d bless
Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up
all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to
make sure his health was fine. When he finally came
home, his wife was waiting on the porch.

She said, "Thank G~d you're here -- we could really use
your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this
morning!"

Taman Mini Malaysia & Taman Mini ASEAN

Taman Mini MALAYSIA

Taman Mini Malaysia, yang boleh dianggap sebagai sebuah taman tema, adalah sebuah tempat yang paling sesuai untuk menyaksikan dan mempelajari tentang keunikan budaya masyarakat dari kesemua negeri di Malaysia.
Tarikan utama taman ini adalah replika rumah-rumah tradisional, yang setiap satunya telah dibina berasaskan senireka dan keunikan setiap rumah tradisional di kesemua 13 negeri di Malaysia.


Replika Rumah Tradisional

Di dalam setiap rumah, pelawat akan berpeluang menyaksikan sendiri keindahan kraftangan negeri berkenaan yang digunakan sebagai bahan hiasan di dalam setiap rumah yang dipamerkan. Selain menjadi bahan pameran, kraftangan ini turut menjadi bahan untuk membolehkan pelawat mengenali setiap negeri di Malaysia dengan lebih dekat lagi. Pakaian tradisional turut dipamerkan di dalam beberapa buah rumah untuk tontonan umum.

Tarian Kebudayaan

Walaupun dari pandangan umum semua rumah ini nampak seakan-akan sama, mereka sebenarnya tidaklah serupa kerana setiap satu mempunyai identiti dan keunikan yang tersendiri.

Penari Budaya

Selain rumah-rumah tradisional ini, pelawat juga boleh menyaksikan pelbagai pertunjukan kebudayaan selain permainan tradisional.

Bayaran Masuk:
Dewasa RM10.00
Kanak-kanak RM5.00

Waktu Operasi:
Setiap Hari 9.00 pagi – 5.00 petang

Untuk Maklumat Lanjut, Sila Hubungi:
Taman Mini Malaysia/ASEAN,
Lebuh Ayer Keroh, 75450 Melaka
Tel: 06-232 1334
Faks: 06-232 1335


Taman Mini ASEAN


Pengunjung akan dapat mempelajari dan mengetahui dengan lebih terperinci lagi mengenai sejarah dan kebudayaan negara-negara ini dengan melawat setiap replika rumah yang dibina di taman ini.

Gerai Cenderamata

Pengunjung juga dapat menyaksikan pertunjukan kebudayaan negara-negara Asean yang dipertontonkan kepada pengunjung pada setiap hujung minggu.

Bayaran Masuk:
Dewasa RM4.00
Kanak-kanak RM2.00

Waktu Operasi:


Untuk Maklumat Lanjut, Sila Hubungi:
Taman Mini Malaysia/ASEAN,
Lebuh Ayer Keroh, 75450 Melaka
Tel: 06-232 1334
Faks: 06-232 1335

"How To Please a Woman"

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a
5- story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women
Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and
husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them
how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor-by-floor,
and once you find what you are looking for, you can
stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a
sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign
reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain."
The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the
next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here
are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough,
so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the
men here are tall and plain." They still want to do
better, and so, knowing there are still two floors
left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men
here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited
and are going in when they realize that there is still
one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they
head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men
here. This floor was built only to prove that there is
no way to please a woman."

heh heh heh, exactly!

POLITE WAY TO PEE

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach
good manners,
asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a
nice young lady, how
would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'



The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude
and impolite.


What about you Peter, how would you say it?


Peter said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.



'That's better, but it's still not very nice to
say the word bathroom at the dinner table.



And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and
show Us your good manners?


' I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused
for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope
you'll get to meet after dinner.'
'
'
'


*The teacher fainted.*

TECHNICAL SUPPORT -- INSTALLING HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct
slowdown in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs
such as Super 14; Fishing; Football and Golf Clubs.

Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the
system..
I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

....................................................................
Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to
download Tears and don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that
application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the
applications Jewellery and Flowers.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to
default to Grumpy Silence, Happy Hour or Beer.
Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the
background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program.. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie..

Good Luck,
Technical Support


***** keh keh keh, I Like it when everything sounds so technical! heh heh

Hotel Swiss In, Kedah

This weekend i have a seminar at Swiss In hotel sungai petani kedah, so i'll post a comment on this hotel later ya, dont go far guys!

a day in penang

so we continue the story "a day in penang". since i have a Computer Programming course in penang, i have to wake up early in the morning to drive alone from alor star to penang. start my journey at 7am, driving my SLK cruising down the highway. a smooth ride from alor star to penang, until i reach the penang bridge. darn, slow flow of traffic from one end to another. i have a little cramp on my leg as well. double dang!

the congestion is due to 1 lane closed for maintenance ( I took picture while driving, Kids, dont do this at home)

Well, after all the cramp and sesat few times, i managed to arrived at Suntech@penang half hour earlier. started the course at 9:30am. manage to take few picture inside the building. i think the building is new since there still few place to rent. manage to take picture of the building, the sky terrace and also the toilet, heh, toilet also wanna take picture, apa punya olang, ini kampung punya olang ini


sky terrace, (smoking zone)



Sky Terrace


Sky Terrace - water cascade

Toilet well maintained , with auto flush function

very clean laa, maybe because talak olang guna kot

tap with sensor, sensor tap was first introduce in shah alam mosque,
toilet also now use technology, haih, later if the sensor rosak, have to fork out lots of money to change pulak, later didnt change like shah alam mosque, everything out of oder, mau basuh tangan pun susah! haih

Luckily my charm have brought me meeting new friend, (Charm konon, hehe) he's an IT Officer of Penang Port, we jalan jalan and he bawak me go makan at a famous Chicken Rice shop , not that Chicken Rice Shop, this is another version of Chicken rice shop, check picture below


Nazir Cafeteria - Selling a nice chicken rice "nasik ayam" - famous nasik ayam in penang and some say in pulau jerejak too! hehehe, so, without any further delay, i terus order the famous nasik ayam, and it look like this


this is the chicken, they mixed all the ketchup, the chili and veggy all in one plate,quite big potionlah the chicken


this is the rice portion, look a bit dull, have to put more lipstick lahhh to attract people, maybe put a carrot yang diracik racik halus, to bring more colour, baru meriah beb!
anyway, the taste is ok, i've tasted better, but ok laa this one, i prefer Chicken rice at shah alam, Nasik ayam pak mal tau? itu memang superb! hehe, anyway, not bad laa this one, but the price, haihhh, RM5 per serving, which i think quite expensive lah, but who to complaint, got aircond and all, so kira ok ok lah, hehe, you guys must try lah this chicken rice, not bad after all

after the course finish, i pusing pusing with my new friend, before drop him at ferry terminal, we stop at the must eat Sup Urat place "Restoran hameed" i forgot to take the picture of the shop, biasalah, bila perut sudah kenyang, hati pun banyak senang, haha


for anyone who dont know how Urat (vein) look like, here's the picture, its the crunchy/liat (i dont know what is liat in english) part of the meat, so its have less saturated fat, the gravy all i makan habis already, only left the urat to take picture, really sedap lah

i wish i can do this trip more often laa, with me alone on the weel, i feel so much freedom and so free, i can go where i want, dont have to go to hypermarket sales or windows shopping, just lepak mamak and check out the girls passing by, shiooook woooo,
and another thing, i hope my wife didnt read this entry, heh heh :P